Minister Al-X

Slavery was great! Just ask these racist hillbillies.

'Southern Slavery, As It Was,' a booklet that attempts to show that blacks really liked Slavery has helped me realize that it was that damned 'liberal elite press' that convinced Northerners that Blacks didn't like to be slaves. Damn liberal elite!

Here are some of the more darkly (no pun intended) humored quotes:
"...The 'peculiar institution' of slavery was not perfect or sinless, but the reality was a far cry from the horrific descriptions given to us in modern histories." Think of it more like a day spa for S&M lovers.

"Slavery as it existed in the South was not an adversarial relationship with pervasive racial animosity. Because of its dominantly patriarchal character, it was a relationship based upon mutual affection and confidence." Yeah, the confidence that you would have been whipped, beaten, or murdered if you didn't pick that goddamn cotton.

"There has never been a multi-racial society which has existed with such mutual intimacy and harmony in the history of the world." Of course that "history of the world" only includes the Holocaust, the Rawandan Genocide, the current Darfur genocide and the Turks genocide of the Armenians. I mean those damn blacks shoulda been glad that we didn't just kill them all- fucking ungrateful slaves.

"...Many Southern blacks supported the South because of long established bonds of affection and trust that had been forged over generations with their white masters and friends." If in the first part, by supported they mean- working without pay, and without a choice, to prop up a system that kept them in shackles- I'd have to agree, blacks did "support" slavery, but I'm curious what definitions of "affection" and "friend" could be used to describe a black slave's view of his or her white "owner".

"Nearly every slave in the South enjoyed a higher standard of living than the poor whites of the South -- and had a much easier existence." Much easier- those poor southerners had to listen to early country music and make moonshine from tree barks, I mean isn't that a form of 'slavery', or at least torture?

This comes via Pandagon

posted by Anonymous @ 12:55 PM