Minister Al-X

My FCC Complaint

Today I received a letter from the blowhards at the Aemrican Family Association asking that I help them file a complaint with the FCC over a CBS show in which a bunch of kids have sex (oh, the horror! It was so hot and heavy that I almost forgot about all of the real suffering in the world).

Anyway- here's the letter that I sent:

Dear FCC and Commissioners,

As a member of American Family Association, I am disappointed to learn that you recently cut a deal with CBS/Viacom and allowed them to only show a teen orgy scene once. Why only once? Can't we have orgy scenese more often? God loves hot, barely legal, girl on girl action, so why should the American People be denied it. Do you want to deny the American people God's love?

As a taxpayer, I hope you will take consumer complaints more seriously. Making deals with broadcasters of indecent programs, without ensuring that there is adequate nudity (espescially of breasts) in the program, undermines the public trust and results in more abuse by networks like CBS/Viacom.

Here's my formal complaint:

NETWORK: CBS-TV
PROGRAM TITLE: Without a Trace
BROADCAST DATES: December 31, 2004
BROADCAST TIMES: 9:00 PM Central & Mountain Time

---Begin Broadcast Content---

The scene includes 20-30 teenagers in an afternoon party at one of their homes.

In one scenario, a girl sits astride a boy as they simulate sexual intercourse (yes, that's right, they only simulate! Is this really supposed to stimulate?). The girl wears only a bra and panties, and another girl fondles both her and the boy. They don't even start munching each others carpets, is CBS trying to give me blue balls!

In still another corner, kids drink and smoke as they watch their half-naked friends engage in various sexual acts, and yet we, the viewing public, are not permitted to watch. A moving mound of bare arms and legs indicates a group of teens having sex, but I can't masturbate looking arms and legs, I need skin. Everywhere one looks, kids are in various stages of undress, engaged in sexual contact, and I wasn't even invited.

In another room, a girl in bra and panties lies on the floor while one boy pours booze down her throat, one boy kisses and fondles her chest and a third rubs her thigh. A circle of their friends watching the action surrounds the quartet. But we don't get a money shot, isn't that a crime? It should be!

---End Broadcast Content---

Please keep me informed of the progress of your investigation of this complaint. A copy of this program is provided to you by the American Family Association.

Signed,
Christian Blowhard

I really hope that they get the message, I was up for four hours on a Viagra and this kind of lame stuff just isn't going to cut it.

posted by Anonymous @ 9:42 AM